Letter to Memphis

I thought I'd cheer myself up by listening to some Pixies today. I know that doesn't make sense to most people, as they're kind of a weird band, but they bring me some nostalgic comfort.

The day since i met her
i can't believe it's true
she came here from memphis
across the ocean sailing
and i saw her a i pleaded
why do you come so far and she said
trying to get to you
how i tried to get you
trying to get you
i'm sending a letter
i'll send it right to you
i'll send it to memphis
i know that someday
everything i needed and i wanted
used to be that my head was haunted
and all these sirens they make me mad
and all this violence it brings me down
i feel strong i feel lucky
trying to get to you
said i'm going to get to you
trying to get to you.

Back the Truck UP!

"Back the truck up!" is one of my favorite phrases -- for use when life is moving a little too fast. (I am known among my co-workers for my wacky, hick colloquialisms – I collect them, but that’s another post)

I am feeling really OLD these days, and the words of one of my favorite John Mayer songs, "Stop This Train," come to mind:

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun


(and yes I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I have MORE THAN ONE favorite John Mayer song -- he got his start in bubblegum pop, but my gut tells me he's here to stay. I keep his CD's next to James Taylor, Billy Joel and Sting in my visor holder, SO THERE!)


I really never liked that verse as much as I liked the rest of the song, which is about fear of losing his parents (JM, like moi, is the child of older parents). I never thought of myself as afraid of growing older, but maybe I am.


If I gave myself a moment to contemplate, I would realize that I am (and justifiably I believe) in the middle of a full-on middle-aged freak-out (we're way beyond crisis). Losing my father a few years back brought home the realization that I am going to die and all those I love will eventually die -- and it brought it to my doorstep in an undeniably solid, sad package that I trip over every time I try to think about my life.


So yes, John (I call him John), if we could stop the train, even for a short while....I'd love a few extra minutes to cuddle my children, show my husband how much I really do love him, and make my Mom laugh. Hell, I'd settle for just catching my breath every once in a while.


Stop this Train

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight


Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?


Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own


Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?


So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun


Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"


"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"


Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark


Singing
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I will never stop this train


Title: Stop This Train
Artist: John Mayer
Album: Continuum
Year: 2006
Genre: Pop, Rock